Wholphin: painfully hip in the most pretentious way

Last weekend, I got a copy of Wholphin, Dave Eggers’ latest project, along with the specially overpriced December/January issue of The Believer. It wasn’t as good as I expected, but it wasn’t a huge disappoitment either.


Patton Oswalt stares at you for five minutes – one of three possible menus on Wholphin #1

High points

  • Tatli Hayat with 5 different subtitles
  • Spike Jonze’s Al Gore documentary
  • Death of the Hen

Pretentious, but still okay

  • The three DVD menus: the staring Patton Oswalt (evolves into an ultra-pretentious short film, if you leave it playing), the Hovercraft, and the backward-singing Dutch dude.

Too fucking pretentious

  • Are You the Favorite Person of Anybody? – John C. Reilly is being completely wasted on this pretentious piece of shit.
  • The Big Empty – Selma Blair is being completely wasted on this pretentious piece of shit.

Just awful

  • The Delicious
  • The Writer

Didn’t bother to watch

  • House in the Middle
  • Soldier’s Pay (excerpt)
  • Malek Khorshid

While watching the DVD, I got the impression that none of the materials on the DVD was created originally for Wholphin. Hopefully, the next issue, with original submissions, will be much better.

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1 Response to Wholphin: painfully hip in the most pretentious way

  1. Hombre Rouge says:

    You are totally fucking right! That fucking movie “deliciosa” absolutely fucking sucked! God damn it! Thank God for your truth telling blog which really lays it out like it is! Let’s get together and find that fucking filmmaker and evicerate him!! I am so fucking steamed at that movie and everyone involved! MOTHER FUCK! Can you believe that movie? WHO THE FUCK DO THEY THINK THEY ARE TRYING TO MAKE A COMEDY FILM FOR $5000 and then getting it on the FUCKING MCSWEENEY’S DVD! JESUS CHRIST! LET”S BURN THIS FUCKING TOWN TO THE GROUND! Please – keep angry blogging! Save us with your commentary on the crap that proliferates everywhere! I salute you! I worship you! And I will see you SOON!

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