Let’s say Sufjan Stevens is indeed gay. Well then, what kind of gay would he be? I mean, does he look like a fem submissive or a straight-acting macho-gay, a bear or a twink, and most importantly, a top or a bottom?
The homoerotic subtext in his songs are mostly too confusing; Sufjan sings he’s really just like “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.,” which I guess means that he’s a top (I am assuming homosexual child molester-murderers are tops), but he tends to portray himself as a passive in a lot of his songs; for example, he sings “I’d give my body to be back again” in the song “To Be Alone With You.”
Sufjan Stevens – a bear or a twink?
I think this is one thing that will remain a mystery even after, I mean if, Sufjan gets outed. I mean, aside from Anderson Cooper, who everyone now knows is a power-bottom, how many openly gay celebrities’ top/bottom/versatile status do you know? A more pertinent question is this: how do I know all these gay stuffs; top, bottom, bear, twink? Could I have caught the gay from reading too much Gawker?
Corrections – January 30, 2006: I have been informed by an acquaintance of mine that Sufjan would be an otter, not bear, as he lacks one of the prerequisites of the beardom: rounds of rolling fat around the belly. I sincerely regret this error.